Myth
A really caring mother would never give up her child. I don’t deserve to be a mother if I choose adoption.
Fact
A mother who unselfishly creates an adoption plan for her child is placing her child’s best interest above her own. It is an ultimate sacrifice for a mother to choose life for her child and realize what is best for that child. Adoption is a caring and responsible process that is as natural and loving as parenting.
Myth
Adoption is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy. “I made this bed…I need to lie in it.”
Fact
Adoption requires a strong and responsible person. Do not feel guilty for considering adoption or think of parenting as a deserved punishment for your unplanned pregnancy. Making the choice for your child to be raised in an environment that can provide the things you are not able to provide at this time is very brave, very responsible, and very loving.
Myth
I will have to say good bye and will never hear from my child again or know how they are doing
Fact
This was true in the past when all adoptions were closed. The baby was taken from the birth mother and she had to live the rest of her life never knowing what became of her child. Today, you can create your own adoption plan which can make it possible for you to select your child’s adoptive parents and meet them. You can choose to stay in touch while your child is growing up by receiving pictures and letters which can ensure that you made the right decision for your child. Open adoptions even allow you to stay in touch with phone calls and possibly even occasional visits.
Myth
Adopted children grow up with more problems than children who are not adopted
Fact
Adopted children do as well as or better than their non-adopted counterparts. A 1994 study by the Search Institute examining adopted adolescents concluded some of the following facts:
- Adopted children score higher than their middle-class peers on indicators of school performance and social competence.
- Adopted adolescents generally are less depressed than children of single parents and are less involved in alcohol abuse, vandalism, fighting, police trouble, use of weapons, and theft.
- On health measures, adopted children score higher than children raised by single parents.
- Compared with the general child population, children placed with adoptive couples are better off economically and adoptive parents are less likely to divorce.
(Taken from Adoption: The Best Option by Patrick Fagan)